When speaking with patients over the last 20 years of our fertility practice, there are some clear trends that arise. Over and over again, the same 5 critical mistakes were mentioned, in one way or another by people on their fertility journey. Let’s see what those mistakes are, along with some distinctions we’ve added based on our professional experience over the last 20 years.

Top 5 fertility mistakes to avoid

It is important to acknowledge that for all the couples we work with, their journey to date is often heart-wrenching, exhausting, frustrating — you name it. 


And while these five critical mistakes are common to many couples, everyone’s individual emotional, physical, and spiritual experience of the journey is different.[1]


What all people share in terms of these mistakes though is that there are always multiple ‘minor factors’ or factors of fertility that get overlooked.[2]

Mistake #5: Stressing about stress

Not surprisingly, the distress of stressing about stress applies on various levels. Right down to the fact that we are aware that by stressing, we decrease our chances of conception due to physiological response mechanisms (flight, fight, or freeze) hardwired into our DNA for human survival.[3,4]


There is a clear need to understand and apply healthy tools and strategies, as opposed to say alcohol and/or cigarettes which might help people de-stress, but ultimately decrease chances of conception.


People should know better ways to de-stress and how to reactivate their fertility as a result of the actions they can take today.[5-8]

Mistake #4: Forgetting that fertility is a TEAM SPORT

This is both a perceived and real lack of understanding about the need and the difficulty of getting both partners on board.


Particularly early on in the journey, couples rarely understand how critical a mission it is for both partners to engage, enhance communication, and improve how they work together.


It is also a fact that men are often, to a certain extent, excluded from the fertility journey — or not even aware of the need to optimize their fertility.[9]


On other fertility pathways, too few questions are asked of men such as the following: How are you feeling? What are your stress levels like? What are you doing to improve your health? Are you exercising? Are you eating well? 


We find that men often disconnect because they are told to do things without understanding the reason. That is why our clinic’s approach is to educate on the ‘why’ and ‘how’ and to support action while developing realistic expectations around outcomes.

Mistake #3: Lack of knowledge

This is the paradox of “you don’t know what you don’t know.” There is a lack of knowledge on so many different levels in this conversation — from simply not knowing what questions to ask, not knowing how best to proceed, or not knowing who to turn to for direction and help. 


There is also not understanding (1) the role of multiple minor factors or factors of fertility, nor (2) how to best address them.


In our practice, we have seen this mistake cost couples their chances of having a healthy baby altogether. Some basically left it way too late because they did not know they could make a difference. Some did not understand the different approaches to take charge of their fertility. 


Or most unaware of all, some thought they had their bases covered because they are taking supplements, eating healthy, exercising, and being stress-free. Yet, they continue to struggle to conceive. They failed to understand that these are just not enough.

Mistake #2: Wasting resources

Time gets wasted because sometimes people continue to do the same thing over and over for years without having the outcome they want. They think that it will all turn out okay — doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Almost 50% of everyone surveyed talked about the time, money, and heartache invested to date without results.


We once had a couple in our clinic who had over 20 failed IVF cycles, to the tune of about $10,000 per cycle. Those 20 cycles are an incredible house deposit already. But after undertaking the Fertility Breakthrough Program, they basically conceived naturally.


It is about taking the RIGHT action then doing whatever it takes that makes all the difference for the couples we help. Do not delay and waste any more resources. If you have struggled with infertility for two or more years, talk to us TODAY.

Mistake #1: Having "the regret"

The number 1 critical mistake that the majority of people will relate to is having “the regret.” The regret of not giving it their all — not taking charge of their situation and making the decisions, but rather allowing decisions to be made for them.  


Many respondents regret rushing into IVF when they discovered it was not the only option or that there were things that could have been done to improve their IVF success.[10-12]


We have nothing against IVF — it is a godsend technology for some couples who would never have been able to conceive otherwise, and we support many couples through this journey. The issue we have is that IVF is often overused.[13]


We feel like couples are literally being herded down this path, rather than being thoroughly diagnosed, so there is a clearer understanding and greater context of the fertility issues they are facing.


We ensure that every couple we work with can one day look back on their fertility journey with us and know that they have given it their all, and they have done their best. That if it did not happen, it was not because they did not put in the work or effort. They can move forward without regret, knowing that they have done everything that they possibly could.


It is important to realize that when it comes to fertility, there is no kind of shortcut.


Wherever you choose to draw the line in terms of having a baby — for some people it is IVF; for others, it is donor egg, or donor sperm, or donor embryo, or surrogacy, while others will try any/all of these options the key aspect is to know that you have left no stone unturned.

Final Thoughts

Gabriela Rosa’s life mission, as a fertility specialist, is to make real change — to revolutionize the way couples are cared for by thorough investigation. She truly believes there is so much power in taking charge, in doing what it takes, in finding your strength — and she wants that difference in people’s lives to be her legacy and the legacy of our practice.


We would love to hold your hand from beginning to baby. If you would like to work with us, complete our Fertility Discovery questionnaire by clicking here. Once submitted, one of my clinical assistants will call. If we can help, great. If not, at least we will give you a better understanding of how you can further navigate your journey. All of this is at no cost and free of obligation. Lock in your session today!


[1] Abdishahshahani, M., et al. Investigating related factors to psychological symptoms of infertile couples undergoing assisted reproductive treatment. Journal of Education and Health Promotion, 2020. 9. PMID: 32154316.

[2] Jansen, R. Getting Pregnant: A compassionate Resource to Overcoming Infertility and Avoiding Miscarriage. 2nd ed. 2003. Crows Nest, Australia: Allen & Unwin.

[3] Rooney, K.L., et al. The relationship between stress and infertility. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 2018. 20(1). PMID: 29946210.

[4] Lynch, C.D., et al. Preconception stress increases the risk of infertility: results from a couple-based prospective cohort study—the LIFE study. Human Reproduction, 2014. 29(5). PMID: 24664130.

[5] Ilacqua, A., et al. Lifestyle and fertility: the influence of stress and quality of life on male fertility. Reproductive Biology and Endocrinology, 2018. 16(1). PMID: 30474562.

[6] Palomba, S., et al. Lifestyle and fertility: the influence of stress and quality of life on female fertility. Reproductive Biology and Endocrinology, 2018. 16(1). PMID: 30501641.

[7] Sansone, A., et al. Smoke, alcohol and drug addiction and male fertility. Reproductive Biology and Endocrinology, 2018. PMID: 29334961.

[8] de Angelis, C., et al. Smoke, alcohol and drug addiction and female fertility. Reproductive Biology and Endocrinology, 2020. PMID: 32164734.

[9] Arya, S.T., et al. The experience of infertility treatment: the male perspective. Human Fertility, 2016. 19(4). PMID: 27563936.

[10] Dupont, C., et al. Effectiveness of a therapeutic multiple-lifestyle intervention taking into account the periconceptional environment in the management of infertile couples: study design of a randomized controlled trial – the PEPCI study. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 2020. 20. PMID: 32456614.

[11] Arhin, S.K., et al. Effect of micronutrient supplementation on IVF outcomes: a systematic review of the literature. Reproductive Biomedicine Online, 2017. 35(6). PMID: 28919239.

[12] Best, D., et al. How Effective Are Weight-Loss Interventions for Improving Fertility in Women and Men Who Are Overweight or Obese? A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of the Evidence. Human Reproduction Update, 2017. 23(6). PMID: 28961722.

[13] Kamphuis, E.I., et al. Are We Overusing IVF? British Medical Journal, 2014. PMID: 24472708.