Question: How do I remain hopeful even after the doctors tell me that egg donation is the only way forward for unexplained infertility?
Unexplained infertility, in my opinion, is a lazy way of diagnosing infertility. The truth is infertility should not be “unexplained.” There are reasons why.
I believe that when it comes to infertility and when it comes to keeping a healthy pregnancy to term, people need to investigate and understand the minor factors that may be getting in the way. A thorough investigation is very much what we do for patients in our practice to uncover and address all aspects at play.
Often, it is multiple reasons or a combination of various “minor factors,” which makes it hard to have an exact diagnosis. Still, you want to ensure that you look at the situation from a much more in-depth perspective than, “This is unexplained. Therefore, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
This is very much what we aim to change in The Fertility Accelerator™ Program – believing unexplained infertility is a valid diagnosis and that you cannot do anything else to help you transform your results.
One of my patients comes to mind immediately when I hear this type of question. She had multiple failed IVF attempts. She had been to three doctors who told her to give up and use a donor egg.
Then she did The Fertility Breakthrough Program™ utilizing our 7-Step F.E.R.T.I.L.E. Method®. We systematically went through everything that needed to happen to give her the best possible chance of conception (even if it was going to be through IVF at the end of the day). By putting all that in place, we could identify things that were not working and address them on her biochemical level.
It was not long until that made enough of a difference that this woman could conceive naturally after previous doctors had ruled out her chances of conceiving her biological child with her own eggs.
Now do not get me wrong. Sometimes a donor egg is the best way, and we support patients in our practice who also need to go down the donor egg path. Still, it is a very different story knowing and understanding that this is the truth of what could happen, especially when you have left no stone unturned.
So the answer to the question “How do I remain hopeful” is knowing you have investigated all your options. You had undertaken a systematic and comprehensive process to identify where to change strategies.
Do not just change strategies because you were told to do so. I think of another patient as I talk about this who, before coming to our process, went and did a donor egg, and it failed multiple times. Then she went through our process and returned to the donor egg with the same partner, and she is now about to give birth.
Hope comes from understanding that you have options yet to investigate, ways, and means of addressing any “unexplained” factors that are getting in the way of taking home a healthy baby. It is not necessarily that the donor egg is or is not the answer.
Lastly, focusing on what you can be grateful for is another wonderful way of retaining hope – understanding what you can be thankful for in your life, doing what it takes, taking charge, and working together as a team. That is the best way to give yourself the best possible chance.
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